Parents – Quit Saying NO!

Do you find yourself reponding ‘no’ to your children questions?

Ok parents, this may get a little uncomfortable but self assessment is not for the weak at heart! Over the past twenty-five years I have observed parents and what I continue to see on a regular basis, is parents whose first response to any question from their children is a single word – no! The problem with this knee jerk reaction is it shuts down communication between you and your child. Instead the challenge is to engage in conversation and understand the request.

Communicative Relationship

Through dialogue you open up windows for teachable moments and bonding opportunities. You gain insight into their thinking and most importantly you offer them the ability to clearly express their thoughts. When children are raised in a home that invites discussion they learn to articulate and to communicate. In addition, when a child knows he will be heard, he will learn to develop his perspective so he can allow you to see why his needs and desires are important.

Creating an Atmosphere that Encourages

By responding with: ‘tell me more about that’, ‘why is that important to you’, ‘how do you see that working’, or even ‘maybe’, the conversation can continue. We really want to encourage our children to do the majority of the thinking, especially when it is their ‘stuff’. By creating an atmosphere that encourages this type of exchange, kids will learn negotiation skills very early. Being able to clearly explain what you want and why, is a great way to help fight the epidemic of ‘Entitlementitis’. When a child is given the continued opportunity to consider the benefits to others when making his requests; and can learn to think from the other person’s perspective, you have prepared them to be very successful in business and in life.

Go ahead and give it a try, quit saying ‘no’ and instead ask open ended questions to gain more insight and to help your child better understand their own requests!